Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Smile in Your Pancreas

I'm nearing the end of the book "eat pray love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend that you find it and read it. Somewhere in the 88th chapter she writes "I like the meditations he has taught me, the comic simplicity of  'smile in you liver' and the reassuring presence of the four spirit brothers." I bolted upright in my chair when I read it. It resonated like a bell chime up my spine. The Balinese healer told her, "To meditate, only you must smile. Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy. Even smile in your liver."

I'm struggling not with how to control my diabetes, but how to pay for my diabetes. I don't have an inner peace, right now. I have an inner war zone. I am daily consumed with worry. I have complete faith that everything will work out in the way it is supposed to. I just wish I knew how I was going to get there from here! Where will the money come from?

It's not the first time I've had these worries. I was essentially unemployed earlier this year following hand surgery. Amazingly, I was provided for in the time that I needed it most! And in a very unexpected way. In fact, several people were blessed at that time. Therefore, I can be assured that it will occur again.

My mind is just so busy with worried thoughts. "Should I ..... I wonder if..... How will I ..." I just need some peace.

The meditation style speaks to me. But I'm not going to smile in my liver, I'm gonna smile in my pancreas! Everyday, I'm going to try to let go of the worry and know, really know, that I will be taken care of.

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