It's the worst news ever, too. I mean, I was just diagnosed with a chronic, lifelong disease that I CANNOT ignore or it will kill me. End of discussion, game over, no more me.
And I'm relieved that I have it? How strange is that? Name one person who has been relieved to be told they can loose a leg or go blind or have a stroke/heart attack? Not one.
I guess you could say I'm a little conflicted. OK, that was a HUGE understatement, I'm seriously conflicted. I've been so focused on what's really going on that I never thought to look to the future. Some of the random thoughts that have occurred to me in the last 12 hours since I was in her office:
- What is the average life span for T1D?
- I've been in health care for 15years, and I have NEVER taken care of a T1D. My friend has been a nurse for about the same length of time. She can think of 1 and that was a child. Where are the "old" T1D's?
- If there are "old" T1D's out there, where are they? Are they being well taken care of? Who manages their disease for them?
- Will they still let them have pumps or do they have to give that up and rely on injections again?
- If there aren't any "old" T1D's, what does that mean? If it means anything.
- What happens if I get dementia, who will take care of me? Can anyone do as good a job as I do taking care of me?
- Holy crap, I've just gotten terrified of growing old!
|Do T1D's get to do this?|
I go back to the endo in 6 weeks, to see how her changes are going, and I think I'm going to have to open that particular Pandora's Box. I need to know.
On a lighter note, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard the doc talking about me to her nurse in the hallway. She said I was "really, really nice" and had "self advocated herself on to insulin and getting in here". It was so nice to hear, she sounded proud of me. What a cool feeling from someone I just met!